I love reading blogs, and I love bloggers. I find great bloggers inspirational, and it’s interesting to see how different people live. I learn tons of neat things in the mountain of blogs I follow, even though I find myself sighing – more than I should – that I feel unable to be like them.
My uncomfortable feelings heated up recently because a lot of the bloggers I follow currently seem slightly obsessed about organizing their homes. While perusing their lovely websites (and viewing images people have pinned on Pinterest), I’ve seen such beautifully organized drawers, closets, and rooms that I’ve felt kind of intimidated.
No, that’s not right. I’ve felt very intimidated.
Finally, after worrying about the fact that even though I have this little homemaking blog, I’m not super-organized; am I, therefore, setting a bad example for my readers? I started to ask myself if people actually live the super-organized lifestyle that their blogs portray.
Is it possible to live in the organized manner I’ve seen in these posts, factoring in how actually people are?
Is it possible to keep an office drawer so organized that there is always three inches of space between each item? See my desk drawer below.
Is it possible to never have dirty clothing pile up in your laundry room? I have a small mountain I’m working my way through right now.
Is it possible that perky-looking children always make their beds when they get up? Mine didn’t, even though I attempted to get them to do it.
Do said beautiful children always put their Legos in color-coded bins when they are finished playing with them? Mine didn’t. Just ask my feet.
Are there cooks out there who always hang up their utensils after each and every use? I jam mine into drawers and containers.
So really… what do you think? Do people actually live like that?
I’m going to confess something now. Last night, as I read a new batch of organizational blog posts, I began to feel kind of bugged.
Actually, I began to feel rebellious. I felt such a level of rebellion bubble up inside of me that if it were bottled, it might inspire grandmothers from Pasadena to start wearing black leather jackets after they get “Back off, Gridley!” tattoos swirled in green snakes burned into their foreheads.
I realized that while I like order (because order is great and I’m glad that I’ve completed a certain number of organizational projects this year), I would feel like I was tied up in a bale of hay if someone required me to live like that.
Contents
My Light Bulb Moment
Last night, as I studied yet another blog post that demonstrated the benefits of having a color-coordinated, almost-empty office desk in one’s home, I realized why I hadn’t posted in this blog for so long…
Too much pressure.
You see, sometimes – when I post in this blog – I feel pressured to be someone I’m not.
I feel pressure to present a meticulously clean home, a ridiculously healthy menu, and piles of yummy-looking cakes, beautifully photographed on vintage glass platters next to jars of fresh daisies.
I feel pressure to live on a ranch and ride horses while dressed in a hand-made coat, sewn from wool cloth I made after shearing the sheep I keep in the corral out back.
I feel pressure to antique every wooden belonging we own in a to-die-for shade of sky-blue after I artistically draw our annual dinner menu on the ceiling-high chalkboard I’ve swashed on my kitchen wall with the homemade chalkboard paint I stirred up in a recycled bucket.
I feel pressure to lose 40 pounds so that I’ll look fabulous-darling while holding three dozen dazzling doughnuts on a plate in the YouTube videos I’ve made to demonstrate my ability to amuse the masses.
But guess what? That’s just not me.
(Well, making amusing YouTube videos might be. I love doing that. But I’m not losing 40 pounds first before I show you one. Nope. Not happening.)
I’ll never be like that, and I guess if you’ve come to this blog looking for perfection and the sort of inspiration that makes you sigh with delight, well… then… I can easily give you some recommendations for astonishings blogs that are feasts for the eyes.
But right now, I just need you to know that I’m just not that way. I’m too gosh-darn real to be that way.
I have to write my blog posts from the viewpoint of someone who is not perfect, who makes messes, and who often grabs a slice of cheese and runs off down the hall with it dangling from her mouth, because that’s all the time I have to “cook” that day.
My blog posts must be written from the viewpoint of someone who constantly spills spaghetti sauce on her white shirts, who forgets to charge her camera batteries before family parties, and who would like to decorate her front porch for holidays – but never quite gets around to it.
I’m sometimes frumpy – am never very “cool” – and I often have my head so high in the clouds as I busily consider the meaning of life – that I often float by things that need to be picked up, repaired, and cleaned.
I like to cook simple, uncomplicated recipes that don’t require expensive ingredients – when I have the time.
I like to clean and organize my home just enough to make things easy for me (and so that I don’t get decapitated when things fall out of closets) – when I have the time.
I like to craft, paint, and entertain family and friends – when I have the time which unfortunately isn’t as often as I’d like.
Why? Because I’m a business woman, a dreamer, and a writer. My homemaking has to fit into my life, not the other way around.
So now that I’ve confessed all of my homemaking crimes and self-imposed insecurities to you, I’ll hope you decide to hang out with me, because I think it would be awesome of those of us who are in this situation to get to know each other. I’ve love to talk to you about your own homemaking experiences, good and bad.
Maybe we can help each other.
Real homemakers unite!
And besides, I do know quite a bit about this topic. Really, I do. Mom and Grandma made sure that I do. I’m just going to talk about things in a more realistic way in my posts from now on. I want the blog to be helpful to you – not harmful. I don’t want my posts to make you to feel like you are unable to measure up to a fake picture I paint.
So I say, let’s keep a home, but let’s not suffer while we’re doing it. Let’s have a little fun!
Now… the article I have promised will begin…
Here’s list of reasons I’ve come up with about why I feel that we shouldn’t overly organize our homes, illustrated with shots of real-life messes from around these parts.
7 Reasons Not To Overly Organize Your Home
Gotta love the snow boots piled up on top of the vacuum hoses at the bottom of this closet.
I recently had a birthday party for my oldest son, and I (uncharacteristically) purchased party decorations. Because I was afraid that I’d forget that I’d uncharacteristically purchased party decorations, I kept them on the counter until it was time to decorate. The swinging white lid you see on the counter was a reminder to myself that I needed to bring the clean dish towels down from the second-floor laundry room. The soda pop is on the counter because… well… Gary keeps putting it there.
1. We live with other people.
We may organize our cabinets with all the vegetable labels facing east, so that they can greet the sun each day.
We may line up our pencils, straighten our stapler, and style the coat closet with the mittens arranged in order of the colors of the rainbow.
We may enthusiastically plump our couch pillows and put the remote controls in the cute, wooden cubbies we purchased for this express purpose.
And once we are finished, our homes may be so bright and shining that they can blind people driving on freeways three counties away (if they have the poor luck of pointing their heads our direction), but unless we live alone, chances are pretty high that someone will come along in a few minutes and mess things up.
I say, why put that kind of pressure on our loved ones – or ourselves?
Tell the people in your life what you are doing, if you must. Teach them your system, if you must. But if they don’t obey your laws exactly, try not to hyperventilate or yell at them.
It really doesn’t matter what your closets look like, but it does matter that your family knows that you love them more than you love your stuff.
Real life in the Paxman house on display.
2. Life happens.
You will get sick. The dog will pee in the living room. The television will break, the bag of lettuce hiding behind the mayonnaise jar will turn into slimy toxic waste, and someone will track mud on the freshly cleaned carpet.
You can either roll with your life or not. I recommend rolling with it.
Yep, this stovetop needs cleaning. I’ll do that later.
3. We are not perfect. We will never be perfect.
My experience is that attempts to be perfect are indicators of unresolved inner conflicts. The eventual outcome of perfectionism includes feelings of failure and unkind dissatisfaction with the activities of our loved ones when they can’t measure up.
Bad idea.
Note: I am guilty of occasionally setting unrealistic goals – such as when I took on my 365 Days to a Homemade Life challenge. It was a bust because keeping up with it required near-perfection, and I am not perfect.
I always fail at such attempts, so I will now make another broad statement: I’m going to attempt to forget about making lofty goals. From now on, I’m going to merely try to live my life the best I can.
We will consider this my formal declaration that the 365 Day challenge has ended.
As I wrote this post, I suddenly realized that I put the unopened mail in a cute red can next to my monitor last Saturday afternoon. I forgot about it because it isn’t lined up in front of my monitor, as it usually is. I guess I better open it and see what people want….
4. Creative minds are often messy.
I suppose there are exceptions to this rule (and if you are one of them, please forgive my boldness), but my personal observation is that truly creative minds create big messes as they work.
People with creative spirits must use every one of their senses so that they can observe, think, read, pile things up, and take them apart again during the creative process. Our dream is that our goofing around may produce several interesting and new ideas.
If creative minds carefully file everything they are experimenting with out of sight at the end of each day, their minds can fall asleep in the tidy, dark drawers they have used to store their stuff.
As a creative individual, I’d rather not miss blessed, shining moments of explosive, new-thought bliss by over-organizing myself. And I’d rather not stifle the creative people around me by expecting that they put their projects away before they are ready to.
We drop things on this landing in preparation of taking them downstairs. Then we promptly go blind and are unable to see what is waiting to be carried away. Average removal time: 2 -3 weeks
5. It takes just as much effort to wipe up one week’s worth of dust as it does to wipe off two weeks’ worth of dust.
I learned this lesson during the wonderful years I was able to afford a house-cleaning service. Even though I desperately needed help, I couldn’t make myself pay for more than twice-monthly cleaning sessions. After a while, I noticed that because I knew that someone was coming to save me from myself before long, I quit obsessing about the dust that piled up between cleanings. No one cared about it, and soon, neither did I.
Now that I’m cleaning the house myself again, I find that I don’t get quite as worked up about dusting as I used to. When the glass table in the family room gets covered by my granddaughter’s fingerprints, I dust.
There is a story about a widow who kept her dearly departed husband’s hat in her kitchen. Upon being asked why it was still there, she said, “When he was alive, I always fussed at him about hanging up his hat. Now, I wish more than anything that he had put it on the shelf with his own dear hand.” Gary seems incapable of hanging up his coat in the closet. Whenever I see it, I remember this story and try to either keep my mouth shut or hang up the coat myself. I’m not always successful, but I try.
6. Visitors care more about how the occupants of the home treat them than they do about the cleanliness of the home. Usually.
Ever go to someone’s home and it’s so clean that you don’t dare breathe, because you’re afraid that the carbon dioxide you expel will spew dust all over their shiny grand piano?
Ever been greeted by plastic couch slip covers that stick to the back of your legs?
Ever have someone immediately wipe up a sink that you’ve just used to wash your hands?
Ever feel pressure to unzip and pull your knee-high snow boots off as soon as you enter someone’s front door, even though you know that you won’t go past their tiled entryway?
Ever feel intimidated by someone who repeatedly apologizes for their messy home when it appears spotless to you?
Not. Fun. At. All.
My Grandmother Stevens was a gracious host because she loved people. She made everyone feel like she was thrilled to have them in her home. Her house was clean – always clean – but not painfully so. If someone happened to tip over a plate of cake and ice cream onto her brand-new, turquoise-blue wool carpet, she didn’t flinch. Instead, she’d help them clean it up as she kept talking about the fascinating topic they were discussing before the accident occurred.
Needless to say, everyone loved to visit Grandma.
I must add an exception to this rule: It’s very uncomfortable to visit someone whose home is so excessively dirty that you feel that your health is in danger when you enter it. The goal is to fall within the realm of reasonableness.
Moderation in all things.
I am truly puzzled by bloggers who organize their books by color. Sure, the result is beautiful – very beautiful – but how do they locate the book they want to read? I use the sort-of-organized-by-topic system.
I believe that the purpose of drawers is to hide our stuff. After all, when we close them, the contents aren’t in full view. I straighten up our drawers every couple of years or so.
7. There are only 24 hours in each day. Choose wisely how you use them.
When you spend time fussing about organizing the contents of your home in an extreme way, perhaps you are taking time away from other more important activities.
Ask yourself these things: If I knew that I was going to die tomorrow, would I really care that my scrapbook paper isn’t organized by color, theme, and pattern type? Would I care that my screwdrivers aren’t hanging from a sunset-orange pegboard, arranged by length and manufacturer? Would I care that my DVDs aren’t alphabetically organized by date of first viewing?
Or would I care that I didn’t go to my son’s baseball game? That I hadn’t played Yahtzee with my daughter? That I hadn’t listened to my neighbor when she obviously needed to talk about something that was bothering her?
Choose people. You’ll be glad that you did.
Here’s Today’s Big Takeaways About Extreme Home Organization
After spending time thinking about home organization and considering what I want to do about it, I’ve come up with these take-a-ways:
- People before stuff. Always.
- Make time to live your life fully instead of obsessively fussing about your stuff.
- Organize your stuff just enough that you feel comfortable in your environment. And then stop.
What do you think about home organization? Do you ever feel pressured by social media posts to overly organize your home? Do you feel unsettled that you aren’t keeping up with what other people are doing?
I heartily agree! There’s an old saying, “clean enough to be healthy, and messy enough to be happy.” I believe in that. And you’re right – people are much more important to be concerned about than the dust that collects whether we’re spastic about it or not.. Now, all that being said, I’m sure there are those who are gifted cleaners (in fact, I know some) but still, they tend to cringe when regular old people come to visit. So I say, “Hear, hear!” to your observations and newly given over – not quite given up, but definitely modified – expectations! Thanks for putting it so well!
I love that… “clean enough to be healthy and messy enough to be happy.” I think I need to create a doodle with that saying on it. It would be great to hang on a wall! Thanks for sharing it.
Hi Ro. I loved your post today. I certainly see where you are coming from. I started following some organizational blogs this past year…and, yes…I do feel pressured by social media posts to overly organize my home. But…I think I handle it okay. I try to just let them inspire me to declutter and organize some things…but I don’t think I’ll ever have every drawer, cabinet, closet, desk, and shelf look like the ones I see out there. lol
I’m looking over at my kitchen as I type this. I just don’t think it will ever have the crisp look that I seem drawn to in the blogger world. It won’t have the beautiful blue/aqua walls that I’ve seen. It has the same wallpaper that was there when I moved here. A white and golden stripe with flowers here and there in shades of green and burgandy. Around the top is a mostly burgandy border with baskets of flowers and, I think, jars that say “tea” on them. lol Certainly NOT what bloggers are posting and showing! lol But, I’ve worked with the colors for 8 years now and I actually find some charm to it these days. I have to say, I’m happier with those stripes and flowers now that my counters are cleared off. Well…cleared off in the sense that there isn’t something there that I don’t want there. My sink is usually empty (’cause I get the stuff into the dishwasher) and my table and counters are almost always cleared. That makes me so happy and satisfied when I walk through there.
Now…there are numerous drawers and cabinets that would make for great “before” pictures. lol And one step away into the living room is a a floor half covered with train tracks, wooden blocks and other toys. This is where Nathan (2 1/2) plays during the day. He doesn’t go off into his room by himself to play. (Rarely, anyway.) But…it’s not trash on the floor or junk. So, I don’t let it bother me. We straighten it up here and there each day. But, it will probably be this way for another couple of years or so.
Anyway, I need to keep some of your thoughts in mind as I’m looking at those pretty pictures on the web. I wouldn’t say I’ve ended the 365 Days to a Homemade Life Challenge…I just don’t focus on it each day. lol More like, what all will I have accomplished over the next 365 days?
By the way, your desk looks a lot better than mine! Good thing it’s in a room that my guests don’t frequent. lol
Love, hugs, stripes and flowers,
Charlene
Hey – wallpaper like that is coming back in style. I have to giggle when I see those home buying shows on HDTV and the young couples go on and on about “vintage” wallpaper.
Makes me feel kind of old. (ha)
I love that you’re working with what you have. Smart.
Hugs back at ya!
I LOVE YOUR POST!!!
from deborah
Thanks, Deborah! So happy you enjoyed it.
I understand your angst over the hyper-organized. After all, there can only be ONE Martha Stewart (with lots of helpers). I just want to be organized enought to find stuff! As I get older, I “lose” more stuff. As far as actual house-cleaning goes, I vacuum every other day because of my long-haired cat leaves fluff balls on every clingy surface. The tile floors get a sweep every day and washed once a week or so. I really don’t care if I can eat off my floor — I have pets for that chore. Kitchen counters, stove and fridge I wipe down every day. My utensils go into 2 large earthen crocks. So I guess you could say I am semi-organized. If I take off my glasses my living space is a perfect blurry magazine spread!
Oh that’s good… only ONE Martha Stewart. But what’s up with the losing more stuff as you get older? I do that, too. I admire your tile sweeping. It takes so long to sweep and clean our tile floor (we have a lot of it) that I can’t seem to work myself up to do it more than once a week. But I SHOULD sweep the kitchen area more often. We had a dog once that kept the floor pretty clean. Suddenly missing her…
Thanks, Ro, I really needed this!!
Amen!! And Amen again! I am heartily in agreement with you! While Pinterest is fun and reading blogs is my new “magazine reading” these days, I have to say that I sometimes fall into this same comparison trap. I type this sitting at my desk which doubles as my office for work and personal business. It’s a mess. Barely any surface that is not covered with a pile of something that needs my attention and the pile of mail is now on the floor because I got tired of it falling off the corner of my desk waiting to get my attention.
Thank you for being real. Thank you for being honest.
It’s important for us to not get caught up in wanting perfection and “magazine perfect” homes to the point that we neglect what matters the most – the people in them.
I miss your insights in the newsletters you used to write and I love reading your posts on this blog. Don’t stop!
I do that, too. Blog reading has taken the place of other types of reading. I sit in a chair at night and read them on my iPad. I really enjoy it. But oh… you should see my desk sometimes. It’s positively scandalous. It was a little bit cleaner than usual because I’d just cleaned it on Saturday. (Try to do that once a week or so.) But right now, it’s piled up with my planner, my art book, magazines, recipe books, my iPad and stuff. I just had to push everything aside so that I could squeeze in the plate my lunch is on.
So glad that you’re here!
Guess I’m coming from a different place… Eight months ago I was diagnosed with colon cancer. After the surgeries, there came chemo (which I’m still getting). My home has changed its role. It’s become a place of healing and comfort rather than one of immaculate decor. My house isn’t the latest in design rather it’s eclectic and filled with family pieces that hold memories.
The weekend after my first major surgery my daughter (who has one of those perfect “Pottery Barn” homes) came to visit and cleaned. Funny how what was important to clean to her was different than what I saw on a daily basis. Since then the dust has accumulated…it’s not going anywhere and will wait. But my sheets are clean. The laundry gets done on one of my “good” days. My husband has learned how to load and unload the dishwasher so the Kitchen is in pretty good shape! Old opened mail (along with Christmas cards) is in a constantly growing pile at the end of the island along with countless little odds and ends. Pill bottles and meds are stacked above the sink. I was in the process of preparing my office for painting when all this started so the hallway is still lined with boxes of files, empty drawers and stuff. Still waiting.
I know that some of this will correct itself in a couple months after the chemo is over but the need to relax and rest has been a hard lesson for me to learn. You can’t fool your platelets! My home will always be my retreat–not necessarily ‘neat’ retreat. With a degree in interior design, I appreciate beautiful things and gorgeous spaces. But it is ‘home’ that is most important now, not a showroom display.
Loved your comment that drawers were a place to hide stuff. I agree. What I need is more drawers!!! A little more storage area would solve some of my clutter problems. A place for everything… Funny how Mr. Wonderful knows where to get something but never knows how or where to put it back.
Life is all about BALANCE. Balance is not a static place–it’s ever-changing. Along with dust.
Oh gosh… Bonnie… I’m so sorry to hear about your struggle with cancer. It sounds to me like you have your priorities straight. I love this last line of yours, “Life is all about BALANCE. Balance is not a static place–it’s ever-changing. Along with dust.” Do you mind if I quote you?
I’ll keep you in my prayers.
Of course I don’t mind. I haven’t cried yet…. I’m saving that for the end. It has been an unexpected journey. I looked and felt the picture of health when this all started. Now I have very thin cat hair. I don’t consider myself a really vain person but I now have a new understanding of how a woman’s hair is closely tied to her self image. It will be good to have this all behind me soon and set some new personal goals.
Ro, I’ve followed you practically on a daily basis for 7 or 8 years and attended both of your digital conferences in Salt Lake City (had a wonderful time) and admire how you are driven to improve yourself and share everything from recipes to how to back up your digital files. And I LOVE your little dog. Keep up the good work.
Yes, I remember that, Bonnie. Maybe someday, we can meet again! Molly says Hi!
Well one thing is for sure, Ro is REAL! I can agree with the hole post. I want far less clutter. But organizing will not control my life either. I love the counter top reminders. I can so relate! Even with the soda left there, and the people living in my house lol
Sister! I’m so glad to meet another counter-reminder person! Yay!
I really enjoyed this post Ro! I love seeing signs of my children and husband, yup even the cat and the dog. I am not alone, nor do I want to be! Thank you for just being you, Ro!
What a good thought – “I’m not alone, nor do I want to be”. I love it so much!
Oh, Ro! You post is so amazingly liberating! I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who likes organization, but usually falls short. I grew up in a “perfect” house. We kids couldn’t go into the living room, as we ‘might’ have company. Mom’s mom was like your grandma – her home was welcoming, she was welcoming and loving, but her home was cluttered with memories of yesteryear. I loved that about her! Mom couldn’t stand it, so went 180 degrees in her housekeeping. If you didn’t use something for awhile, it got tossed. My mother-in-law’s story is similar! My home used to be clean enough to be healthy, but still happy. These last 10 years, since I’ve been on disability with fibromyalgiz and osteo-arthritis, have been very hard for me to keep up with the housework. Thank God my husband knows how to do the laundry & the grocery shopping! He’s very understanding, and I love him all the more for it. God Bless you, Ro!
Oh boy… as a fellow Fibromyalgiz sufferer, I get this! When I was talking about “life happens”, I was thinking about that. I just came out of a big 3-month flare. I wanted to post things out here during that period, but I had worked myself up into thinking they needed to be these perfect, elaborate posts. As you’ll soon see, my recipes are going to be much more approachable (and easier for me to do). My husband helps me a lot, too. What would we do without them!
What a refreshing read! Sometimes I think I’m the only one who doesn’t keep a perfect house. So glad I have a home instead. You have been inspiring me for a long time, Ro. Thanks and keep on going.
Thank you, Ro! I believe in the “comfortable clutter” style of housekeeping and I really appreciate knowing I’m not the only one. I’d much rather my house looked lived in than compete for a spot in House Beautiful.
Lived in. Yes. Yes. Yes. You know, today I had some women visit me. I had the space heaters in my living room that Julianne just returned and aren’t put away yet, some boxes from Amazon that I haven’t emptied yet because I got the flu earlier this week. There are fingerprints all over my shiny black piano because my granddaughter was here this weekend and she does love the piano, and James’shoes and some tile samples that need to be returned by the front door.
I would have been nervous about it, but after writing this post, I wasn’t at all. They asked me about the boxes and the space heaters and I responded in a matter-of-fact way.
Felt so good!
Here is a link to my clutter corner. I hope I linked it correctly.
https://picasaweb.google.com/102148057465089356088/Jan182013?authuser=0&authkey=Gv1sRgCLjnyda86OjL_gE&feat=directlink
The office got moved back into our bedroom when our daughter returned home from college. The box on the floor to the right is filled with 2012 files, and the stuffed animals and Beanie Babies are a reminder to never collect stuff again. I need to sell them on Craigslist. Hope this makes someone feel better. Lol.
Looks farily normal to me. Shelves by home offices tend to blow up on us occasionally. If you’re like me, when you’re through working, you’re so tired that all you want to do is get up and walk away from it.
Beanie Babies! Oh hey… we remember those! I finally gave ours away a few years ago, because I couldn’t work myself up to get them listed.
I’m not at all intimidated by blogs full of organizing tips. I realize most of the photos are staged. Plus I usually pick up a few good ideas.
And no, my house doesn’t look like any of them! It’s okay for us though. It’s clean and lived in. My creative space usually looks chaotic because ideas just need to be realized. Otherwise what’s the point of having them? Just giving them a start makes it likely I’ll actually finish most of them.
I loved your observation about dusting – my least favorite household chore. You just gave me another 20 minutes a week in which to create! Thank you, Ro.
You’re welcome, Eileen! I can imagine that you’re creative space is full of projects because you’re constantly showing us so many things. How could it not be that way?
Thankyou Ro, I have stopped reading so much because I always came away trying to do something that wasn’t me or feeling like I was failing.
I’m a full time working single mum with 3 kids, one with depression and one in the autism spectrum. Whilst I’d like us to be more organised it isn’t us. And whilst I’ll admit we do need to clean up a bit more, bottom line when I do I’m so stressed and tired I take it out on my kids which isn’t acceptable.
So glad you’ve brought the real world back.
Thanks, Fran. It sounds like you have your hands full. I have some handicapped children, too, so my heart goes out to you big time. Hang in there!
What do I think? Well, honestly, with the upmost respect, I think you were very cruel. You had me entertained in the beginning, but pointing out other people’s choices as being wrong, you lost me. I love you & your posts and where you are coming from, but we all love our families wether we are extremely neat or just neat want-to-be’s. one way is no better than another, we all do the best we can, with what we have to work with. Yes, I can find my books by color, it gives my brain a great workout. And i appreciate my friend’s suggestion to try it out. My whole family loves it & I smile every time I walk into that tiny room. Love & Light to you & yours. Carol of UpLifting Home page. ❄⛄❄
Thanks so much for swinging by, Carol. I do so love reading blogs like yours – I ADORE IT – but I just can’t measure up. I’ll never stop reading them and, as I said, I have learned so many, many things from them. I’m so very sorry that I’ve seemed cruel to you. That was not my intention at all – not at all.
True confession: I seriously considered color-coding my books myself, but then I said, “What am I doing?” You see, I have so many books strewn all over my home that I would have created complete chaos if I had. I’m happy that you’re enjoying yours. They are beautiful done that way.
All the best to you and yours.
Oh Ro, I’m not offended in the least. I’m the most disorganized person I know, but I do enjoy learning and growing…no one has to measure up…just love our shelves in this present moment is quiet enough. I enjoy you and your posts…your look and style is what drew me to you in the first place…so, in my eyes you are perfection. Look forward to many more of your tips of the trade.
Oh whew. Whew. Whewie, whew, whew, whew…Thank you SO much for telling me that, Carol. I can breathe again. You’re wonderful to swing back around and say so. A lot of people would have just let it go and let me stew in my own juices.
You are a sweetheart Ro…many hugs to you. ❤
Oh, my goodness you took the the words right out of my mouth.. I SO agree — I really enjoy your blogs – I’ve also been reading other blogs from time to time and some time ago came across — http://lessismoresuccess.com/ — I like Will Roberts saying ‘Simple Sense and choosing to focus on your priorities”… Kkkkkkkkkkkkkkeeeeeeppp being you — I enjoy your insights – you’ve been a good friend!!!
Hugs
Gosh, Kristeen… you’re always a ray of sunshine. I appreciate your support so much. Maybe I get a little too “real” sometimes, huh? I suppose that being different from each other is what makes life interesting.
Thanks Ro for keeping it real! What you said about living with other people is so true! I have four boys…five if you count the husband who will never grow up and leave home! Three of the four boys have moved out but kinda forgot to take some/most/all of their stuff. I think it’d be a good thing if we had to move something like every 7 years or so. It would force us to prioritize and purge!
I like to pin organizational posts and ideas. I download all the free Kindle organization books that come my way. And still I’m not organized! Maybe a little better but far from where I’d like to be. Which isn’t perfect, because as you pointed out homes that are perfect are sooooo uncomfortable to visit! I wonder what these people do in their spare time but I’m thinking they clean and organize!
Anyway, keep on keeping it real!
Are you sure you haven’t been to my house, Tracy? We have three sons and a daughter – all adults. We’re having a hard time getting them to take their stuff – although, two are living with us. One of the boys keeps leaving and coming back, leaving and coming back. And adult sons? They seem messier than they used to be. Sigh.
“Real” is all I’ve got these days!
Ro, I LOVE your down-to-earth attitude.
Thanks, Francine!
I so enjoyed your post. I think that one of the best and one of the worst days I had was when a counselor told my husband and I that we are creative people so you will always live in a mess – there will always be more important things to do and create. For my dear husband, this was freeing. I was torn, my Mom and Dad’s house was always straight, clean and uncluttered. Mine is never. Just after this counselor wisdom, I decided that trying to get my family to keep the house straight and perfectly clean was a waste of time. (I am a big contributer too.) It was more important to spend time listening, talking, spending time together than to worry about cleaning. Mostly I am happy with this decision but we rarely have people over. I also think that my image of the house is like my image of myself. I have no full length mirror so when I look in the mirror, I see the round part of me without seeing the full height of me. It gives you a warpped image of myself. I need to get a full length mirror. The house is the same – I see the mess that my parents would see and it gives me a warpped image of our home. Do you think I could find a full length mirror to use to look at my house?
Time will tell – my husband offered a room to me for scrapbooking. This would be great and I could have my scrapbooking buddy come over sometimes. Problem: this is the extra room and it is full and ALL my drawers are full. I have to get rid of things… Well, I went through the games and the bathroom closet. Slowly – making room.
More encouraged by you…
Oh, I’m so glad. And how interesting that your counselor told you to accept that you are creative people. I love that so much. You know, I think that most of us can’t see ourselves how other people see us, but then again, they don’t see how we see ourselves. I used to drive myself nuts trying to prepare my home for the great event whenever my mother was coming to visit. I always worried about it. But now, here she is living in our basement apartment, and she is completely accepting of me and my different ways. It’s been so liberating and I know that she’s ever done something better than this for me.
You’ve made good decisions to spend time with your kids, I think.
I had a scrapbooking room once. You know what happened to me? I filled it up with stuff and then got so worried that I would use my stuff in the wrong way, that I pretty much stopped scrapbooking. After I started digital scrapbooking, I ended up giving it all away. Well, pretty much. I still have several drawers of stickers. I love stickers.
Good luck with it. I’d love to hear how it works out for you!
I know I made a good decision to spend the time with my kids. They may not have learned a lot about cleaning and picking up but we really enjoy each others company. Our time has been priceless.
The room seems like a good idea because I am thinking about retiring and I will go nuts if everything I do at home is in the living room. I already have lots of stuff so I don’t think I will be buying lots more but hopefully have a place to use what I have and maybe even finish some of the 20 partially finished groups of layout pages.
I also got a subscription to Photoshop Elements magazine so I could learn more about it. I so loved your Scrapgirls videos and the classes I took. I learned so much but I haven’t used it a lot in a couple years and all the shortcut keys are gone from my memory. Now I need to go back through all the class material and try to make up a cheat sheet.
I also need to figure out the best way to store and tag my photos so I can search for them. I am guessing I will use Elements 10. Do you have any advice? I have so many photos, I am concerned how long it will take to tag them all but I know I need to be able to search for photos by content or who is in them so I can blog faster. Then I also have all my actual photographs from years before digital. I want to get those scanned in. That would also help the blogging.
With all this to do, it doesn’t seem like I should be concerned about finding enough to do when I retire. But it is a little scary.
Let me know if you have any questions about the training, okay? I’m glad to help. I recommend that you start at the beginning, watch a movie, practice and then go on. You’ll be surprised at how quickly you pick it up again.
I don’t have the required patience to tag my photos. I’d go crazy. So I drag and drop them into folders that I named in a way that I know what’s inside (like California Vacation, Gary, Animals, etc.). When I want to quickly scan through them, I open Picasa (it’s free from Google) and zip through them. Once Picasa has scanned through your photos, you can change the view to a tree view and scroll along. You can also drag and drop photos into the appropriate folders from within Picasa. I love it!
Hope that helps!
I haven’t posted anything on my blogs for over a year. It got to be too much – the perfectionist in me I guess. Yes, what would we do without our hubbies?! My best to you, Ro!
xoxo
Joy
Xoxo to you, too, Joy!
Thanks for that, Ro. It’s so nice to know that there are still REAL people out there. When looking through “Home” magazines, my first thought is always “Does anyone actually LIVE there!” It’s all well and good to have a perfect house, but only a Home is really lived in.
PS. My second thought is “Who the heck cleans it!”
I’ve had that same thought, Bev. I’ve also noticed that the things they consider a “deal” are quite expensive for the rest of us. I’m not sure that those magazines understand how most of us live.
It is always a joy to come by and read your blog. I am a Stampington Somerset Life girl in my mind, but sadly, horrible at getting to that point. I went nearly 20 years with moving every 2-3 so that helped the clutter. Since I moved to one city (5 houses), I have only had one good “purge.” The boxes and stacks it seems have taken over my home. One day, it will be gone. In the meantime, thank you for being real.
Isn’t it true? Ever since I sold Scrap Girls, I’ve been trying to purge, because it’s easier to take care of less stuff. I still have some things I need to get rid of, but am having a hard time letting go of. Thanks for stopping by. I hope you’ll be back.
Awesome!!!! Thanks Ro! I am “pinning” this one! Sorry I’ve been MIA — I’m grateful for your lightbulb moment this day though and truly appreciate your candid posts.
Thanks, Jenneke! It’s so nice to see you here. Actually, I was MIA myself for awhile.
But I’m back!
Thanks Ro. I have struggled with those feeling of not being good enough and have been trying to get my house and life in order to impress others for the past year and have failed and I haven’t felt happy and my friendships have been slipping. This year I have resolved to just let things go and stop trying so hard to be prefect. I went form lazy to too busy. And this year I am working on trying to find a balance. So far I have been having a great month and my house is in livable order. I really appreciated this post, knowing I am not alone. I had to laugh at your landing for items to be moved to a different floor only to be passed by by the blind eye. That is my house to a T. We live in a split level house so I am always going up or down and I have two piles at the top and bottom of my staircases. With three kids, things are always finding themselves on different floors. I’m glad to know I’m not the only one with a docking area. Thanks again for being real. I have always admired you for that.
Thanks, Jen. It feels pretty good to me to know that I’m not alone in this. And it makes me feel that I can go ahead and blog the real things that happen to me like how I took the brownies out of the oven too soon. Trying to get everything perfect so that I appear competent was killing my enthusiasm for this. Now I feel like it will be okay. I can present my real life. So thank you so much for commenting. It’s so wonderful to hear your story.In some ways, our challenges have been similar – putting pressure on ourselves that should be there. Hugs!!
Ro,
I found you about a year ago when I decided I wanted to give digital scrapbooking a try and happily found Scrapgirls site, and a short time later you were leaving (sigh) Well I signed up to get your emails and have been reading and listening from the rafters.
This post has made me come down from those rafters and say hello to you and the others that have posted with this blog. My home is also just as you have described, bottom line is….we live here! Problem is that is how I feel until someone other than my family sets foot in my home! We used to have an issue with my stepmom coming by (unexpected of course!) the family knew the deal, run! Pick up anything not in its place and throw it somewhere hidden….
Dishes in the oven, check
Dirty laundry behind the shower curtain, check (and pray she went to the bathroom at home)
Throws folded on the back of the couch, check
Mail and anything laying on a table into a laundry basket with sheets just out of the dryer hiding it, check
Hubby picking up any kind of furball left by the cat or dog off the floors, check
Then try not to be out of breath and open the door with a smile and say “so nice of you to come by”, and try not to faint!
The thing is I to have fibro and then a car accident did my back in. I went from a full time job that I loved, teaching Emergency Responders, volunteering with the local FD & about 4 other organizations, to being a housewife (and not a good one LOL).
People that I thought were friends disappeared into the world I no longer was a part of everyday. Those who I had done countless hours of favors of getting continuing ed hours in before they lost certifications for were suddenly nowhere to be found. Without all these people to take care of and not going to work everyday I thought my house would be the one I have always dreamed of!!!! Silly Me
I then in the last few years I lost my dad and have had to put that stepmom into full time care due to Alzheimer’s & rent their home. That means going through all of their belongings and selling, keeping, donating, ect. That was no where near done when I lost my sister-in-law and the same thing with her stuff. Then the big one was losing my mom this spring….. her property has been handed down now for 6 generations without ever being totally cleaned out. Generations of my family’s memories, dreams, and wonderful items now on my doorstep.
My dream of organizing my stuff has now gone into what to keep and not keep. My mother was an extremely thrifty woman and taught me well. You see I know when I get rid of her microwave mine will go out within days…..if I keep it mine will last for years to come! Now multiply that by everything!
The last month I cannot figure out what is going on, I feel terrible, not the normal fibro terrible but the kind that makes it is a job to lift my coffee cup up kind. That makes it impossible to want to go through everything.
What to do with 500+ cookbooks that my mother so much loved to read as most do a novel….but you could ask her about a recipe and she knew just which one had the right one in it. She also left me with a mortgage that is just not absorbable so I have to move those cookbooks. Now I have a sister but she lives in another state and just took what she wanted and nicely told me it was ok to do whatever with the rest.
So this made me think on so many levels, house, fibro, family, pets, what is important and what is not. So I made a decision thanks to your post……. I am keeping the end table with the big drawers and not the pretty glass top ones my mom had! More space to hide things! LOL
Thank you for being you, real and honest. You also helped me with another decision…. I want to start a blog and have been fussing over making it look so perfect. I love the primitive and antique look and crafting that way also, the blogs all look like the homes you talk about here. I think I am gonna just start and blog!!!
Thanks, and sorry for the long lengthy post….. I look back on it and want to delete it saying it sounds so pathetic and who wants to read about all that, certainly not someone who posts such good ideas and who managed her own company….then I think about the person I have been reading and know it will be met with kind eyes and understanding. Thanks again for all the encouragement!!
Kim
It’s not easy losing your parents and I, too, have such attachments to so many things I grew up with and knew my parents loved. I had my daughter pack my mother-in-laws kitchen and write an inventory of every box so that if someone wanted something, we could find it easily. Guess what. Nobody has ever requested anything! My mother was also a cookbook collector. I’m taking them one by one and scanning any significant recipes I want and filing them digitally. Sure takes up a lot less space and I can find them in an instant. Make sure you take time for YOU. Schedule a date with yourself once a week and do something even if it is reading a book. You need it. You deserve it.
Thanks for the comments Bonnie~
I have thought about scanning some of the books, but then I think…..my family eats the same things all the time and really hates it when I try new things so I can always search the web for a new recipe if I want one. Donating them when I know how much money is in them seems kind of crazy, but where do you sell 500 cookbooks?? Craigslist, Ebay…. do I really want to type in descriptions of that many cookbooks?? Not me is the answer I have come up with. Given a few to special friends of hers that wanted a memory which was nice. I have to remember that the memories are not in the things but in my heart!! Easy to say harder to do for sure. Time for me is what I seem to have to much of unfortunately…… if the fibro would let go then I could have less me time and more work time! But everyday is good, God is good and family is Great.
You know what? I can never get myself up to go through the work of listing things, even though I have some things I should sell (like some extra digital cameras). It always seems kind of overwhelming to me. 500 cookbooks? I don’t know that I could do it…
Oh – isn’t that interesting? I’ve read that you should pock up your extra things in a box. If you don’t get the box for more than a year, donate it without opening it up!
Ro, there is a lot of wisdom in that thought. It’s kind of sad that nobody else cared. And by the way, after 10 years and hauling the boxes through 2 house moves, they went to the Salvation Army (although I did peek!).
Wa-hoo! I’m proud of you. But yeah… it’s kind of sad. I was amazed at some of the prizes I got from my parent’s home, because my brothers didn’t want them. (They got first pick.) But oh well… that’s the way it rolls, right?
Oh Kim…I so relate to this. I used to go bonkers preparing my home before anyone came over. I was afraid of what they’d think of me if they saw a mess. When my mom was going to come, I amped it up and made myself miserable. And you know what? She’d always find something to clean. Mom loved to clean when she was younger. She cleaned because she wanted to be helpful.
I finally realized that and then, I let it go. But getting Fibromyalgia forced me to learn how to let things go. I’m not the same person I was before I came down with it. I was a ball of energy. Now, I have to portion my activities out because when I overdo it, I always have a big flare. But I suspect you know just what I’m talking about.
People with Fibro have to learn to live another way…
I’m sorry you’re having a flare – or whatever – this month. It’s the pits when that happens.
You know that a few months ago, we moved mom up here, right? We had to go through the house, too. I was glad that mom did it now – instead of having to do it after she died. It’s such hard work (physically, spiritually, mentally), and my heart goes out to you.
Once you get your blog up, let me know what it is, okay? I’m excited to see it!
Don’t worry about the length of your post. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it and getting to know you better.
Yes, I understand… very much so. Very much. Looking forward to talking to you again.
Oh, Rozanne…did I know you had fibro? If so, I had forgotten …I have fibro, too…maybe we have talked about it before and I just forgot! Things do have to be adjusted with fibro…I’ve had it my entire adult life…so I really don’t know any other way, but getting it after being full of energy, a Dynamo if you will, must be extremely hard. Hugs, Carol of UpLifting Home page
I came down with it in 1988, so it’s been a long time for me. But I remember how I used to be. I have to work at being patient with me and teaching people what it’s like to be me so that when I have to turn them down, they’ll know why. I’m always happy to talk to another Fibro person!
Hi Ro,
You are my kindred spirit! I am always dreaming up a new creative project or working on an unfinished project. My ginormous slow cooker gets lots of use, and people in my house better be willing to eat leftovers or they will starve. There is a large cluttered toy corner that makes me smile every time I walk by, because the grandchildren and “adopted grandchildren” rush to it whenever they drop in. I don’t see very well, so my carpets don’t get vacuumed as often as they probably should, but there is nothing for me to trip over.
I don’t worry about what other people do or don’t do with their houses. I own my house, not the other way around, and I like it that way. But this year I am choosing to simplify and declutter one thing a day, because I have major health problems and will soon have to downsize. I don’t want my adult kids to have to come and “hoe things out” like I had to do with my Mom. I have been decluttering since right after Christmas, and this week I am starting to see the difference. It feels good. Does that mean I am going to start color coding things, or that my drawers won’t ever again be messy? Nope. Congratulate yourself when you are pleased with a result, and let go of the moments when you fell short of your goal. Life is meant to be lived with joy!
Several years ago at a quilt show there was a beautiful quilt that had the messgage…”If you want to see my house, make an appointment. If you want to see me, come anytime!”
Bonnie, that is marvelous! I need to remember that one. Wouldn’t it make a great wall hanging?
I love that term – Kindred Spirit. The Anne books are some of my favorites and now, I’m always on the look out for Kindred Spirits. I’m sorry to hear about your health problems, but it sounds like you’ve got some good goals for handling what is ahead.
“I don’t worry about what other people do or don’t do with their houses. “
Oh boy… it took me a lot of living to learn this one! But it’s so true!
I enjoyed reading this blog very much. My favorite saying when I was a young mother raising 5 kids was by Phyllis Diller, “Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.”
Now that I am 71 and my kids are grown…my only excuse for not keeping a perfect house is that my kids aren’t around now to help clean it up. The messes are all mine and I take full responsibility for it. I still love a clean house – don’t get me wrong. But my aches and pains just keep getting in the way. I would rather scrapbook and/or do something creative and hire help!
Love you Ro! Keep Writing!
Thanks so much, Dawnette. I’m glad you enjoyed it. I’m “young” enough to remember Phyllis Diller. I love that quote you’ve shared. So true….